It’s been awhile since I had an all out I-hate-my-job rant, but I really, really, REALLY hate my job. Going into work every day is a miserable experience, and all the people are miserable and hate their jobs as well. We’re under a budget crunch (like many places), so hours are being cut where they can which makes it harder to do your job correctly and, more importantly in the eyes of the hospital, efficiently. Housekeeping hours have been cut…our hospital was already kind of dirty. Hours for the transporters have been cut…so now I have to run my own blood work to the lab or run to pick my blood products or take my patients to the x-ray department. And I have 3-4 other patients to care for at the same time. We pretty much NEVER have a nursing assistant, but apparently we’re never going to have one again…I don’t think we even have one who is assigned to work on my floor for my shift anymore. They would have to be pulled from another floor. How ridiculous is that? I don’t mind taking vital signs and doing accuchecks, but it’s often a matter of time (that’s two extra trips into a patient’s room!). Also, everyone is so busy that even finding someone to help you turn and/or change a patient can be difficult. I was turning large patients on my own one day this week…I’m little and I’m sure I’m killing my back.
My dinner usually consists of me shoving my food down my throat in ten minutes or less (but we get half an hour deducted from our pay every day). My “care” is absolutely terrible at times because it’s more about the clock and getting out on time than actually taking care of patients. Why was I late? Well, I had to call the pharmacy twelve times to get my medication out (no really, I call the pharmacy at least five times per day…rarely is anything put in correctly). We didn’t have supplies so I had to track them down on another floor. My patient was incontinent six times and every time I have to find someone who has the time to help me change them.
I feel like an idiot most of the time and don’t even feel competent, although some people say I’m a “good nurse.” I don’t believe them at all.
I understand that not everything is going to be set up perfectly, so I don’t expect it to be. But day after day of the same frustrations is killing me and I really can’t take it much more. Is it too much to expect to work on the floor where you were hired? Or to eat dinner? I hate where I work and I hate my job and I hate nursing and I have NO idea why anyone would ever want to be a nurse. Not every nurse in the world is miserable so it must not be too terrible….but it’s really hard to see that now. I know I should try a different nursing job before I completely abandon it (because there is so much to do in nursing!), but I don’t even want to try. I hate it that much.
That being said, I have applied to other jobs, but many want at least one year experience, which I am about two months shy of. I suppose I could hold on for two more months. I’ve made it this far…although I really, really just want to quit.
That’s all. I love how people say “but you’re such a happy, positive person!” Really? REALLY? Where did you get that from?
I wish I could be a professional runner…I’m thinking health promotion or something would be much more exciting. (Although at the opposite spectrum of the bakery…) I’m getting good at it these days although I’m taking today off since my throat is killing me and I’m kind of achy. However, Thursday I had an AMAZING run. It was about 40 degrees outside, which clearly means it was time to break out the shorts. Twelve miles in shorts and a long sleeve shirt…some of my favorite running weather! Dare I say I even got a little warm out there. I was worried how my legs would feel after my awesome workout since they were kind of tired just walking around, but they snapped right back into run mode. It was my day off and I loooooove longer-ish runs, so yay! It was perfect.
Thursday, March 4
12.05 miles in 1:32:04, avg pace of 7:39
Marathon pace, please??? I felt great and my last miles were much faster than my first few miles. I know there’s a long way to go after 12 miles, but I think that’s a pretty good start! I can’t believe Boston is in six weeks…that’s crazy. I’m hoping to kick this cold or whatever I have since I have a big training week coming up.