you might be a nurse if…
Happy Nurses Week to all my readers…or at least those of you who are nurses. 
I know I don’t talk much about the "nurse" part of "Nurse on the Run"…except for "gahhh night shift makes me tired!" However, since you probably don’t want to hear about my back injury anymore (sorry for all the talk about it, I have nothing else to say lately!), I figure Nurses Week is a great time to change the subject and do a little nursing talk these days! Let me know if you hate them and I’ll stop, but the nursing/hospital world is a little bit different than the office world (I have no idea what that’s like, but just a guess), so I figure I’ll give you a little glimpse into nursing. Let me know if there’s anything specific you’d like me to mention, and we’ll go from there!
To start off on the right foot (probably wearing a Dansko clog if you’re a nurse…), we’ll start with a little series called, "You might be a nurse if…" Here we go…
You might be a nurse if…
…you wear drawstring pants to work on a daily basis. God bless scrubs and all the money I save on not buying work clothes. (And my unit gives them to us and washes them, so I don’t even have to do that! Win.)
…you’ve worn yellow isolation gowns around the unit because it’s cold (so cold at night…) and you forgot your sweatshirt.
…you can talk about any sort of bodily function/product while eating any type of meal.
…you secretly eye the veins of the person in front of you in line. And then think, "I could totally get a 16 gauge in there…"
…you’ve made it through a twelve hour shift and realized you have yet to pee. Bladder of steel. (Luckily this doesn’t happen too often.)
…you drink coffee at 2am on a regular basis. Thank you, night shift.
…you wake up and have no idea what day it is or if it’s AM or PM. Thank you again, night shift.
…you know that the patients with tattoos are the ones most likely to tell you they’re afraid of needles.
…you wash your hands before going to the bathroom.
…by the end of the night, the Omnicell/Pyxis won’t take your fingerprint anymore because of all the Purell/handwashing.
…you can speak and write in a shorthand that most other people don’t understand.
…you know that the best way to fix a patient’s oxygen saturation is to change the sensor.
…you have the "this is your heparin shot, it’s a blood thinner so you don’t get blood clots in your legs" speech down pat.
…weekends and holidays mean nothing to you, except that you get time and a half on holidays.
…your doctor tells you to cut down on the coffee.
…seeing people naked is just another day on the job.
…you’ve had a patient ask if you’re nervous because your hand is shaking, but you know it’s just from all the coffee you drank.
…you’ve done a bowel prep on a quadriplegic.
…you have three favorite letters, and they’re "DNR."
…you’ve ever said the words, "That patient just really needs to die." and you mean the best by it.
…you’ve eaten a meal standing up.
…you’ve rolled your eyes when someone says, "Hellooooooo, nurse!" because you know how unattractive scrubs actually are.
…you shower after work instead of before.
…you know that "stat" never happens quite as fast as everyone else thinks it should.
…you know that hitting the night shift wall is worse than hitting the marathon wall.
Happy Nurses Week to all my fellow nurses out there! Please feel free to add to the list if you have a good one! If you’re not a nurse, fill me in on how the rest of the work world works!
Happy Nurses Week to you too! I was just working yesterday and said those exact same words… “this pt really needs to die” in a caring way that some people don’t understand. He is suffering, his family is suffering watching him slowly drown in his secretions… it’s just painful!
I also love the letters DNR. I’ve always told my husband I’m getting them tattooed on my chest if I get dx with an incurable disease, become terminally ill, etc…
I hope your back feels better soon.
And a very Happy Nurse’s Week to you Susan! I can totally relate to your “You Might be a Nurse” list! I love it and it made me chuckle
I especially love the one, “you secretly eye the veins of the person in front of you in line. And then think, “I could totally get a 16 gauge in there…”
And yes, DNR are my favorite letters, and I have said in a very meaningful way that a patient just needs to die. Only nurse’s can understand that thought.
Thank you for all you do as a nurse and I hope you enjoy your week
Missy
Happy Nurse’s Week to you! My mom is a nurse and she was in her office decorating for the other nurses when I called her last night. She tries to do something special for them every year, I think last year she did like personal scrapbook pages or something.
Dude, I totally ogle people’s veins in the supermarket checkout line. Heck, I ogle my OWN veins sometimes!
haha i love it!! bowel preps and bowel programs for spina bifida pts is just my daily life, my hospital only does orthopedics and SB….poop is one of our top concerns
Favorite one: “…you’ve had a patient ask if you’re nervous because your hand is shaking, but you know it’s just from all the coffee you drank.”
oops. COFFEE ADDICT.
I am a nurse also and I loved reading your blog today! I totally agree that patients with a tatoo are afraid of needles and it doesn’t make any sense to me! After I walk away, I smirk and think about how strange it is. And I also get shaky during night shift because I am almost always dehydrated, which is of course NOT a good thing! As a nurse one needs to take care of herself (or himself) just as much as the patient….I will need to repeat this to myself on a regular basis. Happy Nurses Week!
I’m an OT student and work with a lot of nurses in the hospital. You guys are fantastic!! Thank you for all you do
I am a nursing student. I love your blog because I am a runner and a future RN!
I love it and I think I can say yes to allll of those:). Happy Nurses week to you as well!
I love this! happy nurses week
And tell me more about this bowel prep on the quadriplegic? I am intrigued.
happy nurses week to you!! my mom is a nurse so i can relate. and i am a pharm rep so I appreciate what yall do on a daily basis as well.
Love all of these–especially the IV one. I love veins. lol. Happy Nurse’s Week!
I can pretty much relate to every single thing that is listed here, except instead of coffee at night, I drink Diet Coke.
hahahaha. I’m a nurse and I especially loved the “DNR” one. Does that make me a horrible person? Happy Nurses Week!
Happy Nurse’s Week!!! Shout out to all night shift champions. We are a special breed!
THF
That list is so on point. Instead of walking around in isolation gowns when the temperature drops overnight (seriously, do they completely shut off the heat??), we take blankets out of the blanket warmer ( :
you know you’re a nurse when you realize that you are working on a Full Moon wkend night shift=hell on wheels!
You know you are a nurse when you know what a Code Brown is! A three year old stool holder on a Go-Lytley (who named this stuff anyways?!) NG drip who hold it in until she has taken a liter….
You know you are a nurse when you’ve eaten your meal out of an emesis basin or used a tongue depressor because you forgot to bring silverware in your lunch.
You know you are a nurse when you use steri strips or dermabond to close the cracks on your dried out hands.
You know your are a peds nurse when you use the term “fish face” to administer liquid medication to a reluctant toddler.
You know you are a peds nurse when said medication is “refunded” shortly thereafter….all over your scrubs….
You know you are a nurse when you’ve used bandage scissors to cut the clothes off of a drunken teenager.
You know you are a nurse when you get excited to look at the xray to see the foreign body lodged in a cavity…
You know your are a nurse when you’ve walked in on parents having….um…relations…. while you are going in to check on their sick baby.
And so many more!
BTW I loved the Pyxis one….used to happen to me all the time!
Too cute — I love the “stat” orders one — I feel like all orders go as stat and then don’t quite come back as fast as you’d want…
Ha! Good ones
“you know that the patients with tattoos are the ones most likely to tell you they’re afraid of needles” – those and the IV drug abusers. The way they carry on with a tiny SQ needle is pretty priceless.